All this joyousness has reminded me of engagement culture. I think it's quite funny. You are asking someone to marry you and you promise all sorts of things to them. Yet, in the process of asking them, you deceive them and lie to their face. It's either that or lack any element of surprise.
So the scenario generally goes like this: boy and girl, so in love, go out to find a ring together. He sees the one he's going to get, says they'll have to keep looking. He comes back later and purchases the ring and makes up all sorts of lies....I don't think we've found the perfect one...this one is too expensive...too cheap...the diamond isn't right...we need different prongs...and they go on and on. Even if she knows he bought the ring, there's the it's not ready til Wednesday....they're still resizing it....they're behind schedule....I'm picking it up on Saturday routine lies.
So now the boy, with ring "secretly" in possession, plans an extravagant date to propose to pop the question. This can be any number of things, but usually includes going to places that they've been together in the past. As the night unfolds, little things creep in and threaten to destroy his master plot. She sits on the wrong side. They're too early for something...or traffic has held them up. The girl, being the sweet angel she is and not caring if they have an extravagant date because she just wants to spend time with the boy she loves, kindly suggests that there's no need to be upset by the traffic (or whatever) and they can change their plans to something easier.
At this point, the boy is freaking out. CHANGE OUR PLANS?!?!?! Do you have any idea how long I've been planning this out? How carefully I've thought of every little detail (except for maybe the traffic :) )?
The boy then insists that they stick to their guns and do what they said they would. Which the girl finds to be absurd. And so the night goes on. He's insistent, she thinks he's being weird and uncompromising and ends up a little annoyed him. So the perfect date is getting not so perfect.
In the end, everything is fine. He finally asks her to marry him and all is well. All the lies become quickly unfolded. She understands why he was acting like a lunatic and she feels a little bad about getting upset at him because it was all for her. Or is it for him?
Do I appreciate a good engagement story? Of course I do. Do I think these are justified lies? I do. But would Jesus think the same? :)
I think he would. I'm convinced he has a sense of humor because otherwise I would already be smitten.
I think the stories like this are so funny. Here is the gist of the engagement story of my good friend Breen (or Brynn, if you prefer).
EJ takes Brynn to a path where they often would go on walks together. It's a nice path and has a nice bridge and not many people frequent this area. While on their walk, Brynn sees the bridge and notices that it is decorated with candles and stuff. She tries to tell EJ that they should not go over there because someone is using the bridge. He insists that they do...I wonder why.
So he keeps leading her down this path and they get closer and closer. Brynn tries to back away from this place because someone will be here any minute. EJ, again, insists they go closer. Brynn is annoyed that he won't listen to her and keeps insisting they go to this place. When they are pretty close to the bridge she finally says "EJ, we have to go now! Someone is going to propose to someone here!!!"
Exasperated, EJ admits that yes, someone is going to propose to someone here. It's him! And then I think he just asked right there.
Man! I think it's so funny. They're both just getting more irritated at each other. Brynn because he won't listen to her request to go somewhere else, and EJ because she's ruining the surprise!!!! Just follow along, woman!
Anyway, that's part of all the fun of getting engaged, right? My husband tricked me and I liked it. We had looked at rings, but not very seriously. And we'd only been dating for 4 months. This is how he got me...he told me he wanted to go film our first date so we'd always have that memory (of which he was starting to forget). I believed him. I didn't suspect a thing until he told me to finish my sandwich and put the trays away myself while he went to the bathroom. Heaven forbid I do such a thing on my own, right?
Don't think that I don't enjoy engagement stories. I truly do love them. I just think it's funny that so many people are in on lying to one person, and it's somehow ok. And that what is supposed to be the greatest night of your whole dating history ends up tangled in annoyance and deceit.
Congratulations Matt and Emily!!!
Funny and true! I remember the night before Clark proposed to me. "Well if you want me to get down on one knee right here, I'll do it! But I want it to be special." The right here was Kiwanis Park and us covered in sweat after playing tennis. Now that would have been an interesting way to be asked, I preferred the lies and deceit for the perfect night. Though both would have been memorable...
ReplyDelete-Andrea
that is the gist of our engagement story. when i first saw the candles, i told ej that it was creepy, and i wanted to turn around. candles on a bridge with no one in sight - creepy! when we got closer i thought there was a reception going on, and wanted to turn around. when we got right to the bridge with the candles and flowers, i knew someone was proposing to someone there, and i didn't want to be there when they came! then i realized it was us! it was great, wouldn't have wanted it to be any other way.
ReplyDelete-breen